Like most editors, I start my edit from the beginning, the top of the document. After I searched tthe copyright page, the title page, etc for errors I reached the Note From The Author page and edit it. Then I decided to scrap the whole thing and I am debating if I want to write another.
I think the crux of my would-be Note From the Author was an attempt to state that I'm against censorship and although I don't think my work will warrant any censoring I just want to reiterate that I am not for this climate of censoring like censorship is supposed to heal all that ails. Censoring is not even the beginning of healing it is antithetical to healing.
It's hard for me to accept that people really do not want to hear the other side or sides of an argument a dispute a situation etc. and make an informed decision about "X". It's very patronizing that certain people or factions or groups with certain authority want to censor one side or something and not let people make an informed choice. There are certain mavens and protectors of information and they must be the ones who make the choices for the moronic masses whilst largely being nothing but propagandists and disinformation agents. Layout all the information and let me parse through it, let me discern, let me weigh outcomes, let me interpret, do not tell me that you know what is best for me to ingest especially when those censoring and calling for more censorship have only shown me that their information is barely worth considering. They should not be the village guard of information.
What is actually happening is the further destruction of human will. People are being told to not think by way of censorship. All the thinking should be done for them; life really should be THAT easy. I align myself with those who think we are not on a slippery slope but a speed slide to authoritarianism which will lead ultimately to totalitarianism. If we aren't already in the midst of some sort of bastardized admixture of the two.
That being said I'm tired of addressing "them." I need to focus on my art and if the censors come for me they come. I'm not self-censoring, it's okay for me to see the world as I see it.
Here is the original Note From the Author I wrote.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
I am wary about speaking directly to my audience because I’m never sure that I have one. Insecurity aside, being the person that I am and holding the opinions that I hold especially in what I, and many others can and have described, is a censorship-obsessed moment, that any audience may dissipate before it has a chance to gather. I’m not saying that I should be censored or this work is inherently crass or offensive or purposely wants to court our dystopian censorship-riddled future. It is impossible for me to predict how people will perceive my novel I just want to recognize that I understand that my novel in the hands of certain personal identity obsessed (insanely narcissistic) populations, may be perceived in an emotional way, and considered absolutely deplorable, despite me not writing without provocation in mind.
This angers me but I want my readers (again, probable) to understand that this is a work of fiction. I do not mean to denigrate or offend or trigger anyone; I just wrote what I felt (isn’t how you feel all the rage? Or must I feel like you?). That being said I understand, as an artist, that part of myself, my thought processes, my experiences, my history, my sensibilities, are all embedded in this work. Again, I do understand that how I feel, what I’ve written could be considered offensive even though that was never my intention. It is also my experience that offense is standard in this critical theory postmodernism constructed society.
I’m just a writer, a writer of poetry, short stories, and now novels. Fiction and poetry have taught me more about myself than any other artistic medium. Me, as a human, more often the same than different from other humans regardless of how they identify despite human history being ripe with actions trying to distinguish one human tribe from the other. I am for Black empowerment, exclusively for Black people whose families have been in the United States for centuries. I am for Black empowerment, I love my people, our tribe and where we come from but my art is not Black art. My art is art, and I’m not making any distinction. “Black” art was something that a corrupt White supremacist power structure used to necessarily separate Black art from White art, to segregate the art world and to assume that "White" art is better than "Black" art. Although I am for Black empowerment I also must admit that I choose individualism over identitarianism. I judge people based upon their actions and their character and there is no identity marker that will make me believe someone is inherently or automatically altruistic, good, and moral (despite how hard the identitarian tries) or that someone is intrinsically or genetically perverted or debased. I may treat you differently and try harder to commiserate and work with my people but I judge my people the same as everyone else on their merit. I can’t even use your identity marker as some gauge of the likelihood of benevolent or malevolent behavior. Judge my art on its merit don't use it to diversify your curriculum or something intellectually disingenuous. There is not going to be some special month or time of year where my novel is read. My novel is going to be read or not read based upon compellation. Even if my novel isn’t read my ego is fed.
Speaking of being read, one day my children will read this novel because I know they will be curious about their father writing a book about the future of their family. Right now, they are too young to understand why daddy stays up late at night and wakes up early in the morning. Why daddy can’t spend as much time with them, I know they may not remember the details of their lives surrounding this novel as they are very young but this is only my first novel and fifth work and not my last by a long shot. I want them to know that I am writing for my own physical and mental health, which of course is for their (and of course my own) ultimate benefit even though they may resent me because my hours with them may be fewer than they need. I just hope they know that if I spend one second with them, which I did when they were born, that is one more second than my father ever spent with me. They will have family photos to inspect my face and see where they get their nose, eyes, their knuckles, their kneecaps, and elbows.
Furthermore, they will find this record of my undying love for them and their potential. Although, I have to recognize physical and perceived realities my children will know that their output depends upon their own personal will. Daddy won’t always be around to provide what little he can. That’s what this work is. This is a testament to my love for my children to how I envision them growing… but I cannot lie, I do think that I hope this work imbues you with certain principles. I generally do not want you to think that you must pursue what these fictional characters pursue. In fact, it’s best that you don’t because who you are cannot be predicted by me. Of course, I hope to have a huge influence on your life, but I do not want to burden you with my expectations. Hopefully, I can walk that fine line of a caring, thoughtful, and supportive parent with totalitarian, listen to the words of your father (and mother) because we use our experiences to try to do what’s best for you.
I want you to enjoy this work Lizette. You are the mother of our children and you will read this work and your emotions will fluctuate like they tend to (;p), you may laugh or cry or even be incited to anger not only because of how I portray what ostensibly could be you (although this is fiction) but how I manage our children. I am literally writing a fictional vision of our future. I point that out because I am very self-aware and I understand that parallels will be made between our possible or even probable fictional representations and us as actual human beings, raising our badass, but incredibly intelligent children. I hope that you understand that my (probable) representation of you is meant to be endearing and I mean to highlight your strengths as a partner, lover, and especially as a mother. You are undoubtedly the embodiment of the mother that a lot of women in this society are refusing to be. Although, you are career-driven, and you do have interests outside of motherhood your sacrifice is for your children and family.
Sorry to bog down my dedication to you with politics but I cannot help but relay that these people are misleading, that they think that the world is going to change in their lifetimes and that they just hope that bar hopping or country hopping or nagging society instead of their husband or children is going to change anything. Especially, since once they die their only legacy will be their complaints. Although I want to uppercut you sometimes, I’m glad you nag us to be better because I understand that you care about not only our safety but also us becoming great people. Your “nagging” is a sign that you care, I’m also glad that despite your nagging you let me pursue what I will because I would not have finished this novel or still have had the freedom to sleep three hours a night for my paintings and other pursuits… I’m just glad you’ve put up with me when I know that many, many, many, many, others refuse to. Maybe that is an example of the sacrifice a woman makes for her family or maybe it’s a testament to the strength of our relationship. I’m just glad that you’re willing to understand my sacrifices for our family too.
This note is not meant to give away my motivations for writing this story, this work of Fiction. It’s only meant to (possibly) give some insight into my reasons for writing this story. I understand that we are living in this intense moment that can degenerate into a common past, and personally, I think that since the people who have most often created our recent history are currently in charge of the present that this society could easily become a more explicit genocidal entity; with social media justifying it. Let’s explain why we continually subjugate certain populations; let’s explain away mass murders in society because of some distinguished misunderstanding or some Marxist "I’m oppressed so I can kill" ideology. Some people are only interested in pseudo-science or pseudo-social science and foisting their biases onto any person uneducated enough to be manipulated by good sounding words. They manipulate people who are looking for any reason to explain away their mediocrity that is why equality must be forced upon society because they do not have the will to be good enough… Not good enough for or to society, not good enough for or to their families or friends but for or to themselves. They cannot; actually, they categorically refuse to look inward. Or they just aren’t that talented. Every single person they meet or engage with on intrusive and destruction platforms must validate their existence by adopting a singular version of reality. There is no more delusion just acceptance of any emotionally driven nonsense. They are looking for brain clones, people to interpret as they do otherwise their existence is not. Maybe that is projection because I know that my novel is mediocre (despite how hard I’ve worked) compared to the great English literature written throughout the English language’s brief time on this planet. Maybe I should take the position that all novels are equal because I feel they are because they can be equally interpreted now Danielle Steele is equal to Jane Austen and maybe she is to some people. That's fine, I think.
I understand what I bring on myself. I understand how I may be interpreted. I have foresight but also understand that I do not know all that may be waiting for me. I understand that this work will be judged but I do not know how it will be judged. All I know is that I had a great time writing it.
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