In anticipation of my forthcoming work The Donor Protocol, I am going to begin to release promotional material that not only advertises my first novel but also expresses the mission of my imprint, my company, Bad Thoughts Publishing.
This is unorthodox in promotion but not in the vain narcissism of the age and craft but I am going to interview myself (again) and ask questions that I think those curious about my company, its mission, and a bit about who I am as a person and writer.
I do not expect any ballyhoo or hullabaloo. I do not expect people to clamor or have any special inquiry but just in case there is this interview will act as a FAQ page. I promise to be as honest as possible, I will not prim low hanging fruit, I will ask myself hardball questions that will elucidate my mind so that I can illuminate the audience about this entity and the true reasons why Bad Thoughts Publishing Company was created.
I want to state that I am doing exactly what a lot of media and public relations firms and companies do when they want to control a message; and I am doing it very directly. I am the CEO of the company, and I could just write a press release on a company letterhead but I decided to ask myself some questions. I am giving you my message, straight from the goat’s mouth. A lot of other companies will set up “interviews” for the perception of openness and transparency when really it is contrived very similarly to the proceeding. A lot of larger companies can afford more actors and a camera crew and lighting and sound people and key grips (Hint: That type of cynicism, which I consider understanding, is one reason why I created this company).
I’ll try to keep the answers as short and simple as possible. I know how long-winded and distracted I can become when answering some of the simplest questions.
Lastly, this interview is also an example of the type of content that I am going to be bringing to the Bad Thoughts Blog. You will read more about that later.
Future content will not have so much exposition but I feel it necessary to explain what I'm attempting to do with this particular piece.
Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy the interview.
EXCLUSIVE: Interview With Jonathan Sheppard, The Owner of Bad Thoughts Publishing Company
written by Jonathan Sheppard
photos by Lizette Castellanos
Author and CEO of Bad Thoughts Publishing Company, Jonathan Sheppard, reading Plato's The Symposium in his office.
INTERVIEWER: At the risk of seeming insane I’m going to greet you, "Hello Jonathan," it just feels weird to start an interview without a greeting. "I hope you are doing well this evening, I know you didn’t have any problems getting here."
JONATHAN SHEPPARD: Please let’s not reference that I am interviewing myself in all the time. Can we nip that in the bud immediately?
INTERVIEWER: How you start an interview can be compared to how you start a poem you must get the introduction…
JS: Stop! No proselytizing, please… No tangents, no rants.
INTERVIEWER: Well I’d ask you to do the same.
JS: Agreed.
INTERVIEWER: Can this commence? This was your idea and you’re making it this difficult? That is why no one else is trying to interview you… No one cares about your background, so I won’t ask any questions about that. Simply, what are the origins of Bad Thoughts Publishing Company?
JS: Simply put, I investigated the route to get published by one of the majors, I said fuck all that, so I decided to self-publish and Bad Thoughts Publishing Company is the name I chose.
INTERVIEWER: Elaborate smart-ass.
JS: I want to be in complete control of my art. I have lived the life that influenced my art and I am the one who has agonized and anguished not only over my works but also in my life. I’m the one who has smiled and laughed and cried and bled and that's what my work is. It's my life. It's me and it’s mine. I understood that my art is my intellectual property and it would be absolutely foolish to leverage my art to any publishing house especially considering how simple it is to self-publish.
INTERVIEWER: What about…
JS: Let me get this out. I have always been inquisitive since I was a little fucker, but what I understood from an early age is that I had to seek my own answers, I had to figure things out on my own. I came to the realization some time ago that most people do not ask questions or even think about asking questions and since they don’t even think about asking questions they don’t seek answers and they accept whatever the “authority” or the “credentialed” propagate as answers to questions they never even thought to ask.
INTERVIEWER: Uhhh... I thought we agreed...
Seemingly intelligent people quoting headlines or Tweets from verified accounts
as gospel as an accurate assessment of reality and not the delusions of some mediocre scumbag who is now a megalomaniac because some rag published their grad school thesis has always baffled me.
And when I confronted people on what I could argue and would argue is their very limited understanding of some topic, mostly politics, and people would often shut down. I did not see that as some signal that I need to stop providing the information I gather whilst most people are spending HOURS binging one of the ten million new TV shows out there on the 800,000 streaming services, I'm gathering information, interpreting it and attempting to understand it.
What I did not understand then, and something I am still trying to battle now, is that you cannot lord information over people. My beautiful twin-brother once told me when I confided in him about how people react to the information I have, “people aren’t reading what you’re reading. So don’t expect people to know what you know.” Which is a very apt and poignant point and I get that. It is wrong to expect people to know what you know. But then I thought about it and responded with, “why are people pretending like they’re knowledgeable then? They do not know enough to even have an opinion.”
In this age everyone is political and is wearing their opinion and their trials and their identity and every-fucking-thing else on their sleeve and when you give them nearly irrefutable evidence that they are absolutely delusional and that the headline or Tweet that they drunkenly espoused as some knowledge or factual instruction, some newly enlightened modern wisdom outside of bars is pure narrative bullshit! It's the corrupted lore of the mainstream media and the entities that bolster their coffers. But that was not my brother’s point. His point was that I tend to bash people over the head with information and that is not wise especially when challenging someone’s opinions. I just cannot dismiss my own point. Why are you speaking on something you know nothing about? But growing wise is learning that it's not my job to change someone's opinions.
Essentially, the messenger is always the scapegoat, instead of asking where I got my information or having humility which I have done which you have to have when you are seeking understanding the quest for knowledge is a curse because you must understand that this journey will never end. I just wish more people enmasse would at least attempt to get ready for the journey. At least start thinking about it. I still have trouble communicating emotion and information to people especially when refuting popular narratives so I needed a filter for my message.
It is all just my perspective and I understand that my perspective, my interpretation, are both just that mine, but I ensure that my art is made in the spirit of the truth. As I grow older I understand how the truth is not palatable for a lot of people, so I must find ways to offer my perspective infused with the truth, not this MY truth nonsense, there is only THE truth, in easily receptive, easier to digest ways and that way is writing as well as other art mediums.
Lastly, I want to leave my children something. I may not be able to leave them anything but this... At least they will know that their dad was a thinker and he tried to interpret the world as honestly and as truthfully as he could and that they should be bold in their thoughts, actions, and opinions because they are informed by the truth. And to always express themselves in BAD ways.
INTERVIEWER: Why did you yell MY, THE, and BAD…
JS: Emphasis.
INTERVIEWER: Okay, I guess... Why did you choose the name Bad Thoughts? You are a smart man and I know you had to understand what that name could elicit not just in writing but also in someone’s behavior. If you have any moral compass you understand that Bad Thoughts aren’t subjective and are typically relegated to the cognitive reality of some of the most destitute and most degenerate people in any society.
JS: Aristotle did not say or write this, that we know, but I think that this adage of mysterious origin makes a lot of sense, “It is the mark of an educated man to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
As humans, we think things to ourselves about people, events, our environment, and our reality that arguably truthfully represent our true thoughts and feelings, they express what we truly want, need, and desire. I’m speaking about those “I should just quit my goddamn job and take what little money I have to Thailand and sell fruit for the rest of my life.” I want to express that through art.
I understand what “bad” means in this society. My very existence could be “bad” to some people so I understand that everything I think could be considered “bad”. I also understand that I am the only defender of not only my art but all my modes of expression.
INTERVIEWER: So it’s subjective. Bad Thoughts are subjective.
JS: For the most part. There are something’s that I would never think are good that some people think are great. Bad Thoughts Publishing Company is my bad thoughts and the bad thoughts of those I choose to publish.
INTERVIEWER: So you are obviously against censorship. Is the name a signal to the themes of your content? So if a character in your forthcoming novel goes on some racist ableist homophobic transphobic, anti-white, climate change denying rant the reader should understand that this is what Bad Thoughts Publishing Company publishes, because of the name?
JS: No, that’s very simplistic thinking. I can publish a book about pink bunnies making tea all fucking day.
So publishing Bad Thoughts makes me naturally against censorship? I am not for censorship, you’re right. I wholeheartedly support the Bill of Rights like any GOOD United States citizen would.
Censorship pisses me off because it surmises that if the art, the signifier, doesn’t exist, then the signified would not exist. That’s a goddamn lie. Like Italian, Irish, and British mobsters have been listening to rap music for decades. I hate these arguments that are nothing but more evolved versions of the “chicken or the egg”.
Bad behavior is a human condition. I wonder if the Conquistadores were listening to rap music or what was Ghengis Khan entertained by? Why does everyone think it is intelligent to have the Scream argument all the time? You know the film Scream argument; the Columbine argument, “it is the art that pushed the person over the edge! Oh the art they were reading or watching or listening to signaled that they would be murderous! Oh woes is us, if we only got rid of all the art. All the art should die, and our eutopia would be born!”
Censoring is the order of the day and it is only going to become worse and more flagrant. We will be censored and we will be flooded with much more disinformation, facts changing daily brand new words and old words with new definitions.
INTERVIEWER: Those novels have been written.
JS: I know they have. I guess as the owner and if I do choose to pay other writers and artists I would not censor them because I would trust the authenticity of the feelings in their art. Art is pretty much the only world where I think feelings should rule and they should only rule whilst creating. I believe all art has the right to exist. I am not in charge of anyone’s will or interpretation but my own.
Your work does not have to be some demonic shit for me to publish it. Just well written.
INTERVIEWER: We may get to your ability to determine something as well written later but I don’t think we’ll have time but speaking of demonic, what about all the demonic imagery and that mask? What’s up with the obsession with the demon mask? Are you a Satanist or what?
JS: I started using the mask similar to the name Bad Thoughts. It’s really that easy to control someone’s perception. As mainly a book publisher the most notable adage when it comes to reading is “don’t judge a book by its cover” I know that adage is used typically for the judgment of humans, even though these identity movements prove that people want to be judged solely on their identity they just want to control the NARRATIVE, and an actual physical book cover can actually help sell a book by simply catching the probable reader’s eye, so some sort of judgement was passed on the book simply by its cover. I thought to myself it does not matter if I wear the mask of a demon, that does not mean my work is not righteous, which it isn't. It's Satanist or Demonic either. Unless you consder all secular work the devil's work.
Also, the mask is just an image of a supposed demon based upon an amalgamation of depictions of many pagan gods mainly the Greek god Pan. Satan’s modern depiction is thought to be modeled after depictions of Pan, Satan was depicted as a trickster, similarly to other trickster gods of the pagan religions more than simply antithetical to God. In fact Satan or Lucifer is one of God's tools. Believe it or not he is on God's side helping God fulfill prophecy. Satan before the rise of Catholicism and the Catholic Church’s appropriation of pretty much EVERYTHING from rituals to holidays from ancient roman pagan religions, did not have such a simplistic characterization.
INTERVIEWER: You sure like to yell certain words for emphasis all the time like you have tourettes. I’m glad we’re not recording this.
JS: Speaking of Gods that is also why I called it Bad Thoughts, I’m a morose person, similarly to how the Roman god Saturn has been described. I think it’s because I have this want to know the details and the details of the history that has not been lost are quite awful. There are some great human accomplishments most definitely but wow. If you collectivize history and don’t individualize human experience we are frankly, on some other shit. I think there could be an argument made that every year is the worst year ever.
INTERVIEWER: Yeah, that’s some cynicism.
JS: Oh that’s also why I love the mask because these people who find mainstream media YouTube and Twitter as their chief educational source love to obscure the details, and where do the details lie?
INTERVIEWER: Clever… But our brother was right. No one reads what the hell you are reading. You expect someone to see you wearing that mask and understand that you are cultivating a certain perception based upon the history of the image that influenced the creation of the mask?
JS: Why does it matter if I’m wearing the mask if my deeds are good? I’m just beholden to the perception of that image? I thought I was supposed to be judged by my actions and my works not how I look.
INTERVIEWER: Wearing the mask? I will not ask about the mask anymore.
JS: Thanks.
INTERVIEWER: How would you respond to anyone who would say that Bad Thoughts Publishing Company is just a vain ego project by someone whose interpretations are deluded and you and your art absolutely should be ignored because you’re obviously just some specious perpetual curmudgeon suffering from one of the most pronounced undiagnosed cases of Delusions of Grandeur by someone who needs to quit writing right now? What would you say to that person?
JS: I would not say anything I would violently assault them... That was in jest of course…
INTERVIEWER: Don’t you love to fight?
JS: I’m specious? I’m fighting against speciousness.
But that is a fair assessment and I’m not responsible for what anyone may think about my art or me. My art, of course, is trying to direct people towards what someone could argue is my perspective but I guess all artists could be described in the manner of that hypothetical critic.
I am a combative person but if you believe in your understanding you don’t shrink once your interpretation of an idea or your opinion or whatever it is, is challenged. I’ve witnessed people shrink once their perspective was challenged. I think I have also learned that it is an amazing feeling to be wrong. That humility from the embarrassment and shame from the understanding gained when you discover why you were wrong is exhilarating. I'm wrong a lot. So I'm not scared to be wrong.
Honestly, I have never been judged harshly for my work. In fact, I have only been praised because my audience all though very important is negligible in terms of population. But I love reading and hearing and listening to opinions and thoughts that dissent from mine. How could you form an opinion otherwise? So I accept assumed negative reviews and harsh or “bad” opinions about me. That’s supposed to happen.
Maybe I’m just naturally quizzical. If someone thinks something nice or is too complimentary that is as equally repulsive as your hypothetical critic. Maybe my own thoughts are already aligned with that hypothetical critic.
INTERVIEWER: What is your vision for Bad Thoughts Publishing Company? What do you hope to accomplish?
JS: I am not quite as destructive as I once was; actually, I’m a kitten now, but supposed naysayer critic FUCK, I may not write anymore one day but not by choice. I will write for the rest of my life because that is all I’ve ever done... I'm sorry can you ask your question again. How the fuck that critic going to judge my work? I bet he hasn't even read any of my shit, was it a man? I bet he's a bitch...
INTERVIEWER: I think we're going to go ahead and wrap this up now. My question was what is your vision for you company, what do you want to accomplish?
JS: In the immediate future I want to publish The Dorner Protocol, my first novel.
My main goal is to focus not on the novel as a piece of art but I also want to use it as a tool, as an example of the high quality work that audiences should expect from Bad Thoughts Publishing Company. That does not mean my past work was not high quality but I still have so much to display I do have another novel manuscript, Fake Death, a tentative title, that I plan on reworking to publish soon after TDP. So in the immediate future, I am focusing on writing.
Eventually, I want to publish other artists who share in the company's vision. I want to pay writers and other artists to create content for the company and website. I don't want to own anyone's IP. I don't want any rights to anything. I just want to be able to help artists get their work out there. I value scribes in particular and I believe they, us, should be paid well for our work. I think that's been the overarching problem in journalism/writing. Writing doesn't pay very well and the jobs that are paying especially in Corporate or Mainstream Media and Publications you can only write a political narrative. Mainly liberal but some conservative as well, and that writing is terrible and repetitive. All the liberal sites need to merge and so do all the conservative sites. All of these different outlets and all these different writers from different backgrounds, from different places, are all writing the exact same shit, using the exact same words and language and diction, the same exact perspectives... it's pure propaganda... disheartening... so soon there will be others posting on the Bad Thoughts Blog.
Literature is Bad Thoughts Publishing Company's main focus but I definitely have interest in other narrative forms mainly film making, and the theatre. I've grown an affinity for the theatre that I never had before and I definitely want to write at least one play and stage it, I don't know, in an ice cream shop or some shit for just my family, I don't fucking know. I just really want to write and direct a play. Those are down the line but in the back of my mind, I know that I won't be fulfilled if I do not explore at least those two narrative forms.
I also want to establish relationships with schools and other institutions to promote creative writing. I want to develop scholarships for poets and writers at my alma maters. I want my company to only bring GOOD thoughts despite our BAD content.
INTERVIEWER: Well, looks like we’re out of time. I know you’re busy, so I’m busy too. Thank you for your time. I wish you luck and I hope Bad Thoughts Publishing Company flourishes. Next time not so much yelling.
JS: It will and I'm not making any promises.
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